Art is Love

Where is the key? Where is it? Where did I put it? Which way should I go?  I'm completely lost. I don't know the way anymore. I don't know what to do anymore. Who am I? What am I? What? What?! What am I?! Who am I?! What do I want really? Why do I feel like I have a memory gape? Is it normal to have only fragment of memories? I don't remember when I got lost myself? I don't remember the trigger of losing myself or when it started. It hurs so much. My chest feels pain. Is it the consequent for bottle up all my problems and emotions? Anger, frustration, all those I want scream out. I want to lash out! I want to cry alout! I want to trash my room in to mess! I want to release all my emotion out! But I don't know how to express my emotion except crying silently. No, that not it. I'm afraid that if I unleash my bottle up my emotion, that I will lose my sanity. I'm afraid that I'm not me anymore. I'm afraid of my true self. ...

I love this song and the anime is also cool~ 

Ciao~ On Tuesday we received a packed from my grandparents from Japan. I request them to send me a cuddle toy Gunma-chan. A mascot of Gunma prefecture in Japan, where I was born, coz I found the mascot is cute and it's a horse.  群馬  means herd of horses. ヽ (* ﾟｰﾟ *) ﾉ   First I wanted the biggest of the cuddle toy, which was 70cm. Since they were to big they bought 40cm and 20cm along a phone strap.  My Grandparents also send necktie for my father and few rice cracker for my mother. They also send me a caramel corn... my favorite snacks. At the begin I didn't want any food from Japan, but at the end I lost against my favorite snacks. The reason of my refuse at begin was, coz of radioactive and pollution. Oh well, with luck I wont die from it. On the tag said: "Call me Gunma-Chan" 40cm big Gunma-Chan 20cm big Gunma-Chan

Ciao~ How are ya? I'm fine as always. As you noticed that I have a new header. (^_^) I sketched rough first in "Sketchbook Copic Edition" (found in App Store for free xD), fine sketching in "Photoshop CS3" and finalizing in "Illustrator CS3". The Typographie I made also myself. Such kind typographie exist in many type and yet I like to make myself. xD   I need update my CS version someday. (;_;) coz in CS5 Photoshop you can turn canvas, not like in CS3. Aside CS5 have cool drawing brushes. *sniff* Oh well, I worked once CS1, which I almost go nuts, coz during transformation you couldn't zoom in and out yet. Anyway today I went with my mother to Zofingen to buy japanese type tea for tomorrow guest, which we needed to go special shop, like pharmacy shop, bio shop or asian shop. We also went to a new sushi shop, we heard from neighbor, that the sushi is good, so we went buy for lunch. The shop name is Sushido . I can say the sushi is really good...

Ciao~ How have you been? It's been a while that I wrote an entry in this blog. For those who didn't know yet I was released from hospital mid August and the operation went well. I'm Happy that I can eat again. \(^_^)/ But it's not the main theme that I want write about. On 13th October I went with Tee, Nifi and Jenny to Miyuko Café in Zurich. I didn't see Jenny a year and Nifi I didn't see for 2 years. So I was happy to meet them again. We meet at the trainstation 12:00pm, was it? So we went to the Café. It's small and yet a cute café. We ordered drinks and cake. I had a macha latte, my fav tea drink. We also get 3 different flavor of cakes to share. Those cakes were really sweet, after 2-3 bites you couldn't eat more, coz it was really sweet, yet I ate most of the cake I think. Nifi and Jenny also gave me those cookies that came with the drinks, coz they didn't liked the taste. After we ate, we talked what we gonna do after that and Tee sugges...

Around 5 weeks ago I had awefull stomage ache and went for checking at Hospital. The checking anwser was that I had an Ilius (read on wikipedia if you don't know what an Ilius are), which needed emercy oparetion. The operation went fine. I had more problem with start eating again, coz my intestine was completly sleeping. I had 1 week stomage tube for empting my stomage insted of throwing up. For the all prozess I stayed 2 1/2 week at Hospital. After I was realesed from Hospital, soon I felt ill again. The more I ate and drank, the more I felt ill. When I throwed up I felt after that better. I stayed 3 days at home, before I went emercy to Hospital again. I had really low water in my body and at hospital they filled with IV water in my body. They tried to feeding prozess again, but I felt soon sick again. Some day the doctor checked my stomage again and one point I had bit pain. So I went checking again and found out that I had one part of my intestine passage is narrow. So I tranfe...

Ciao~ How have you been? I'm more a less fine, I guess. As the titel say I was for 2 1/2 week in Hospital.  On 10th June I had awfull stomachache and I wanted to wait until it became better, but it didn't and on next day, which it was Monday evening I went Hospital and had emergency check. The checking was really long but then they found out that I had second time an ileus. Ileus is a twisted intestine. Yes, it's second time, that I had an ileus. The first one was when I was 3 or 4 year old, which I don't really remember. The Operation went good and I was happy, that I had no pain anymore. Soon after the operation they tried to feed me, but at the end I throwed up everything, coz the intestine was lazy. So I had for 1 week a stomache tube through my nose and it was bit painfull. After 1 week I didn't need the stomache tube anymore and started to eat normal food again. So today I could finally go home. During I had stomache tube I was only eating soup. I also ...

Ciao~ it's been a while, not really~  ( ´ ▽ ` ) ﾉ  It's not I was really busy...only I had nothing really to write about, nor had a idea.   Anyway, first of all I lost my japanese nationality, which it means I'm only swiss now. Thought I willing to unregistred from japanese nationality with my mother. Reason is I needed to tell anyway to japanese embassy if I want be swiss or japanese, since Japan don't accept double nationality. Aside I don't know when I'm able go Japan again, due the radioactiv etc. and the other reason is that maybe someday, if bad luck, I have pay tax to japanese gouverment, thought I don't and never lived in Japan. I'm not sad at all and I don't regret, that I don't have japanese nationality anymore. But at end I'm still half japanese from blood side and that counts...   ( 〜￣▽￣ ) 〜 The second theme is that I finally did my second driving course. No, it's not for getting driving licence. Because I have a driv...

I copied this Meme from ladyphantomhive with permission. 1. What time did you get up this morning? around 7:30AM 2. How do you like your steak? cooked or grilled. 3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? I' don't remember anymore, since last time I watched was a year ago. 4. What is your favorite TV show? I don't have really one...aside I don't have an TV. 5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? I dunno... 6. What did you have for breakfast? Toast bread with butter on it. 7. What is your favorite cuisine? Japanese and swiss/german 8. What foods do you dislike? avocado and some other 9. Favorite Place to Eat? don't really have on 10. Favorite dressing? French dressing 11.What kind of vehicle do you drive? Fiat 500 in pink 12. What are your favorite clothes? boyisch clouthes 13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? Pompei 14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? Half empty. 15. Where wou...

Ciao~ I hope you guys had good start on new year. I had a good start I guess. thought I didn't celebrate it at all. |D I have no inted to write a belated resume of 2011, coz I'm lazy. If you want some the click on my blog archive... you may find something interesting. I have to point that I want write today. First is that I still get back up information from my mother about Japan and Fukushima, since she is watching constandly internet tv and internet radio. first of all japanese gouverment newspaper and tv gave no information how bad the situation is in Fukushima. insted of that they say it's everything fine and safe. Of course people who live in Fukushima don't really believe and people, who collecting information from internet via private internet radio and tv programm. When people uploaded on Youtube a video of Fukushima or any kind of relate with radiation it got deleted. Because the japanese gouverment want it hide. A person, who live in Fukushima was w...

Ciao~ How have you been? Today I went with my mother to a grocery shopping and I found a "Hello Kitty" cookie can with baking indegrient, cookie from, deco eating paper. So I made it, since I hardly bake stuff. The cookie taste strawberry, but it smell more like a chewing gum or strabeery flavor toothpaste (which I really hate, it remind me of elementry school time. A special person come and teached us how to brush proper our mouth once a while). Heute ging ich mit meiner Mutter Lebensmittel einkaufen und habe ein "Hello Kitty" Kekse Büchse mit Backzutaten, Steckform und Deko Esspapier gefunden. So habe ich gebacken, weil ich sonst nie wirklich was backe. Die Kekse schmecken nach Erdbeeren, aber es richt mehr nach Kaugummi oder nach Erdbeere geschmack Zahnpaste (welch ich wirklich hasse, da es mich an Grundschule errinert. Es kam manmal ein Person, dieser hat uns immer beigebracht wie man Zähneputzen sollt e.) Only failed to make a icing, because I adde...

„Did you ever thought how it would feel to kill you beloved person with your own hand?“ The sky was nice blue sky and sunny. It's allmost peacefull, but it is really peacefull as we think? Then in one of those house on this peacefull street is pretty mess and bloody. If you get closer to view, you will see three courps, two adults and a child. In the middle of this mess and between those courpes you can see a person about age of 16 stand with a kitchin knife in his hand. This person make a phone call, but we don't know to who, because that person say only, who picked the phone: „Say, did you ever thought how it would feel to kill you beloved person with your own hand?“ "Habt ihr jemals gedacht, wie es sich anfühlt einen geliebte Person mit deiner eigener Hand umzubringen?" Der Himmer war sonnig und in wunder schöne blau umhüllt. Es ist sehr friedlich, aber ist es wirklich friedlich wie ihr es denkt? Denn in einer dieser Haus bei der friedliche ...

Ciao~ As I told yesterday, that I gonna upload about "comic börse in Zürich" today. So around 11:14 I made up with a friend Tee to go on train from Zofingen to Zürich (She and I live near around). As typical of her, she really manage to come really tide on train. While traveling with train we talked about random stuff and I also showed her my new Digital camera. She also photographed me with it as trying.  Wie ich gestern erwähnt habe, dass ich über den "Comic Börse in Zürich" heute schreiben werde. So gegen 11:14 habe ich mit meine Kollegin Tee abgemacht, damit wir zusammen auf den Zug gehen können nach Zürich (Sie und ich leben in der nähe der Gegend). Nun typisch von ihr, dass sie wie immer sehr knapp auf den Zug schafft. Whärend der Fahrt haben wir über verschiedenes Unterhalten und ich habe auch ihr mein neue Digital Kamera gezeigt. Sie hat mich auch fotographiert um aus zu testen.  Me~ (photographed by Tee)   Tee (photographed by me) At the...

Ciao~ This time I write about my Artwork prozess of the X-Mas pic that I draw and I alos made a Speed art of it. :) Have fun to view. In diesem Eintrag ist über Zeichnungs Prozess von Weihnachten Bild das ich gezeichnet habe und auch ein "Speed Art" erstellt habe. Habt Spass zu sehen. :)   Rough sketch sketch Outline Main Color   Speed Art Part 1   Speed Art part 2  In this Video is no sound, coz Youtube block it. :/ In dieser Video hat keine Ton drin, weil Youtube blockiert hat. :/ Finished. During drawing I allmost went berserkt, coz it didn't come like I imaginated it and was bit frustraited. But at end I'm more a less satisfited. Eventhought the pic don't really looks like x-mas. But I like it.  Während ich dieses Bild gezeichnet habe, ging ich fast auf Amok. Weil es nicht so raus gekommen ist wie ich es mir vorgestellt habe un...

I only wanted test with the reflex camera Nikon D5100, how the qualitat is with video taking. It's only my random talking about my collection of stuffed animals.

Recently many people posted/spaming on facebook picture of dead or heavy injured animals and humans. I dunno where it really comes from it. But one I can say it's annyoning. It's not like I can't watch it or something like that. But I really don't need such stuff full of it on headline. Once my friend showed my such kind of photo in black and white. I looked those picture completly neutral and emotionless. It's not that I'm completly heartless about those picture. Of course I feel somethimes disgusting in my mind, but I don't show on my face. When my friend noticed, that I don't show anykind of disgust, like normal innocent and naiv girls would react. She was kind bit shocked or better say unexpted. Many people mistake me as such person, who can't look disgust things ect. Don't juge people from cover! I look from outside naiv and innocent girl, but my soul is tained in many way. Aside my mother rised me that way and since I was child, I was di...

I cut my hair two days ago. one side is short and other side is bit long. I also have backside still long, which you can't see really clearly. This time you can also see my reflex camera Nikon D5100. (^w^) My mothers comment on my hair style was only "did you cut your hair strangely again?". xD Here is a video music of Hetalia "Hatefutte Parade" I love this song and it's cute. The charakter Italy is to cute. I sugesst to try to watch Hetalia, because it's really funny, even thought the episode is only 5 min short. Hetalia has two series. The one is "Hetalia axis power" and the other is "Hetalia world series". They also have one movie "Hetalia Paint it white" The storys is about countrys history in parodie. Japanese lyrics: Migi te ni wa shiro hata! Hidari te ni wa PASTA~! Hata futte- Hata futte- Hata futte PAREDO! Miwaku no sekai e ANDIAMO! Te wo totte wa ni natte mawaru yo chikyuu go Kirakira n...

Ciao~ It's been a while that I'm writing something about me. Not that someone would missed me, hahaha. Anyway the reason that I didn't upload constandly, because I had bit privat matter and pressur from my family. Mostly it's cleared now.   First of all my mother was pushing me find a job until end of this year and if I can't. I get kicked out of my appartment. At least I have now a part time job for once or twice a week. It's not much about salery, but better than nothing. I'm searching a fulltime job as Graphic designer, but unfornetly all apply that I send, got turned down. Otherside I'm also searching for other work, that I could do. example: Barmaid, Callagent ect. Exept constraction work or something like that, because I'm to frail. I noticed that I didn't write what kind of partime job I'm doing. My partimejob is advertimsmet catalog delivering in my town. The other thing was, that my ex-girlfriend broke up with me beginn of sep...

When I went downstare for dinner I found a big mouse front of the house dead. At the beginn I wonder, if it's really dead or not. But if would be still alive, then the mouse would be allready run away. I also had to restain not to poke with my finger on it. LoL It's rare to see mouse dead like that. normaly I saw them laying side, when there are dead. But I'm not sure. I thought also cute. LoL

My car got during beening at Leipzig a big scratch. Since with nail polish I can't cover good, since it's hard to find the right color since my car is pink. So I desiceded to design a bandage with a teddy bear motiv and put it on. My mother really liked the idea. :P Here is few photographie of it. :3 ah~ my beloved car  <3 It's everything selfmade, also printing and other stuff. See ya next time, ciao~! (^_^)/シ