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Oneside love

sometimes you give impression, that you know me, but reality you don't know anything about me really. If you knew me really, then you wouldn't anger me for a stupid reason. I may show only my kindness side and patience. But I can also show the 180° side of my charakter, my anger side. I also can't garantie, that you will get safe away from me, when I snap. Because when I snap, I lose my control of my mind and body. If you have luck, I will only shout at you and at the sametime I'm crying. Bad luck is that I get violent.
If you are serious with me, then don't write to me a half hearted mails. Otherwhise it will give all wrong impression. I'm sensitiv about feeling and I can if I want catch easly peoples feeling if it's half hearted or serious. Half hearted love hurts same as oneside love.

When I resived you message, that you have problem to grew your love toward to me, then you should tell me that at beginn our relationship and not when we are allready 3 years together.  The message gave me shock and I felt that a pice of my heart broke. You also told me, if it borther me with the currently relationship, then we should break up. But I told that I wont say that words as long I have feeling for you. There is also reason why I can't. If I do that, then it's mean for me, betraying my own felling that I have. I can't and wont betray my feeling. I know it's sound really stubborn, but that what I'm.

I may noticed long time ago, that I feld that your feeling was uneasy toward to me. But I never mentioned and I know that I nerver told about my bother dirct to you, was wrong. Maybe I was afraid of truth or afraid to lose you. A friend of mine pushed my back and I finaly wrote to you, after you left visit me in germany. Aside you are third person that I was in Relationship. first girl and longest relationship that I had.

That how I see you at the moment and my feeling.

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