lives more in own world

I wonder when I started creat my own unexistend world. I don't really remember anymore. But I noticed, that I gonna lose more and more the realty world. Event thought I have to come back to the real world and yet I want stay more in my own world, because I love my world than the real world. Some people complaine, that they never know what goes in my brain, because I hardly talk. Talking is not my ability and when I was small kid, I lost once my voice or better to say the muscle to walk and talk. When I tryed to talk first time after woke up from fake coma. I couldn't say a word and since then I didn't want talk anymore for a while. From time to time I started to talk slowly again and if people didn't understand me and asked me "sorry, what did you say?", then I didn't reaped it again and beeing quiet again.
Even know I have still problem with talking, but I'm trying. Some language is easy to talk for me some feels my troat hurt.

Comments

Afraid of myself

Where is the key? Where is it? Where did I put it? Which way should I go? I'm completely lost. I don't know the way anymore. I don't know what to do anymore. Who am I? What am I? What? What?! What am I?! Who am I?! What do I want really? Why do I feel like I have a memory gape? Is it normal to have only fragment of memories? I don't remember when I got lost myself? I don't remember the trigger of losing myself or when it started. It hurs so much. My chest feels pain. Is it the consequent for bottle up all my problems and emotions? Anger, frustration, all those I want scream out. I want to lash out! I want to cry alout! I want to trash my room in to mess! I want to release all my emotion out! But I don't know how to express my emotion except crying silently. No, that not it. I'm afraid that if I unleash my bottle up my emotion, that I will lose my sanity. I'm afraid that I'm not me anymore. I'm afraid of my true self. ...

drawing with mouse/pad of notebook on photoshop xD

I draw a picture only with mouse/pad of notebook on the photoshop and you will see the moreless how I worked only with mouse/pad of notebook... the first is the sketch, how the pic should look about... The skin coloration I already worked in the detail and the rest I gave a one color... here you see, that I worked on the detail of the shirt... The End products xD I'm with the hair not really saticfide, coz it was the difficultest part to work in detail... next time... I will take more time... ( I worked only a day)xD

Les gourmandises de Miyuko

Ciao~ How have you been? It's been a while that I wrote an entry in this blog. For those who didn't know yet I was released from hospital mid August and the operation went well. I'm Happy that I can eat again. \(^_^)/ But it's not the main theme that I want write about. On 13th October I went with Tee, Nifi and Jenny to Miyuko Café in Zurich. I didn't see Jenny a year and Nifi I didn't see for 2 years. So I was happy to meet them again. We meet at the trainstation 12:00pm, was it? So we went to the Café. It's small and yet a cute café. We ordered drinks and cake. I had a macha latte, my fav tea drink. We also get 3 different flavor of cakes to share. Those cakes were really sweet, after 2-3 bites you couldn't eat more, coz it was really sweet, yet I ate most of the cake I think. Nifi and Jenny also gave me those cookies that came with the drinks, coz they didn't liked the taste. After we ate, we talked what we gonna do after that and Tee sugges...

Art is Love

Search This Blog